Parents Who Pamper, Preach And Expect
The other day, I was writing on the importance of family bonding, sacrifices and blessed togetherness. Indian family values teach a person virtues of patience, sympathy and empathy naturally.
These values have an ancient connection when it was necessary for people to stay together. Family became the smallest unit of togetherness. Many families united to form a community; then a village, city, state and hence various regions were defined. There was a need for recognition and the closely-knit families proved to be a strong base of a strong state (or country).
*Every member of the family could feel a considerable family cohesive force. From the youngest to the eldest, each one completed others. Togetherness was their strength.
Cut to today.
Unlike in the past, people are more educated now. They know what’s good for their personal development. Their behaviour is also different from the families of the past.
*Young guns:
Youngsters, today, respect their individuality and don’t tolerate any preachers around! They want their lives to be theirs only. Self-improvement being their ultimate aim(What’s wrong in it?), it’s difficult for them to be obedient to their parents.
*And Parents!
In nuclear families, the attention of parents is limited to their two/three children. In an effort to fulfil their dreams through children, parents pamper them with the best resources they have. Next, children are given good advice (Is it preaching?) for successful living. After dedicating their lives to children, parents expect something (near about everything) from children.
No one seems to be going wrong.
Where does the problem lie? I’m leaving this for my readers to reply. After all, human relations are not rigid like mathematical formulae, these are subject to interpretations;)
PANORAMIC RIPPLES 
This is soo true
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Personally i believe that…guidance of the parents, elder ones and teachers is my necessary with deep intensity till a certain age, after that everyone have to face the outer world in her/his own but if someone thinks that she/hew will listen to no one and totally lead the life according to her/his wish then there can be no other big foolishness than it, we all should remember that our parents always wish good for us, they are worried and tensed about life and future.
Balancing is much necessary, anything too much can create misunderstanding and problem,both the generations should not be too much in their acts.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts:)
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Aditi, you raised some very valid questions. Personally, I don’t think parents should have expectations from their kids. Doing things for their offspring is an act of love and duty. Much as we’d like, relationships (yes, even with our kids) rarely give us as much as we invest in them. Better to give breathing space. Also, better to flee before I start preaching and get on a weird trip 😃😛
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Great! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views:)
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Parents are definitely very involved in their children’s lives in India. I can’t speak for everyone, but having observed my grandparents generation, my parents and now my own; I feel there is a change for the better. Now parents do give their children space and encourage to make their own life decisions, where it was not possible in earlier generations. At least that’s how I feel 🙂
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Yes, the change is for the good:)
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Whenever we are in whichever shoes we think its right. When we r kids that point of view is correct and when we become parents then that outlook is right.
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True
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I believe that a balance is needed between involvement and making them self reliant. Situations and age are the factors which should determine whether advice is needed or it is essential to let go of the urge to interfere.
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The application varies from person to person. Thanks Sonia:)
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This topic is very sensible and thought-provoking. We cannot just say ‘Stay out of my way’ and do everything without realizing how it will affect our parents. On the other hand, parents also should understand the need and necessity of their children and try to cope up with generation change.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts:)
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Very valid points. No doubt things are changing and parents are now not forcing their kids to fulfill their dreams! We love our parents for everything they do.
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Thanks for visiting:)
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Valid points, Aditi. I agree parents are very much involved in kid’s life in India but things are changing…though still a long way to go.
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Thanks for reading:)
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Thought provoking post, Aditi. In my view, it’s parents’ duty to teach children, not by preaching, but by example. Often times, as a result of too much pampering we see youngsters with attitudes that reek of ‘entitlement’. If parents are humble and respectful of others, so are their kids. Perhaps it’s time that parents give some thought to their own behaviour?
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Thanks for reading. Today, parents pamper their children and give them much more importance than they deserve. Perhaps the nuclear families are the cause.
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Thought provoking post. I have often wondered about this change in values. Preaching is definitely not advisable. Parents need to teach by example. When they behave respectfully to others (be it family or strangers), their children will do so automatically. Too much pampering is more harmful than helpful. It restricts the children’s ability to be independent.
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So true.
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Values are changing and so are the relations. Parents treat their children as friends and literally obey them. Yes, there’s a need for parents to check their behaviour.
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Just as we adapt to new fashions and new gadgets it would be wise to adapt to new mindsets too. Evolving is the only way to move forward. At least this is how I think.
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Need of the hour👍
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Your questions are very much valid and an interesting article too
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