Mystery of the Old Castle on the Hill

They were like another Jack and Jill,
Who succeeded in going up the hill,
What followed next, my friend,
May leave you writhing with chills.

“It’s getting dark, Daniel. Let’s go back, my parents must be worried.” Daisy sat down on a rock, panting.

Daniel, who was in a hurry to reach the top of the hill didn’t pay attention to her excuses, “Told you that! I’m stronger and can reach the top of this hill before sunset. You can, in no way match my capacity. Now come on, we have a very short time left and the weather doesn’t seem to be favorable.” He continued to climb up the slant, analyzing the dark clouds.

Race to the top of the hill
Race to the top of the hill

It was the last day of school before summer vacation. Daniel and Daisy decided on an adventurous activity to celebrate the new beginning. They were good friends and had similar likings. The plan was finalized after taking permission from the parents. Daisy thought for a while and a smile ran down her face.

“Wait for me, Daniel! Let me catch my breath.”

“We need to move fast. It was your idea to race to the top of this hill but I’m wildly passionate about winning challenges. Henceforth, Daisy, you will meet me at the top of the hill. Can you see that old castle? Let’s have a run to that point. I’m afraid your boyfriend Sam may not be chasing us. He stalks you everywhere!;)”

“How can he come here? He is.. is…..I… .I mean he doesn’t know we’re climbing the hill today!” Daisy stammered when she heard Sam’s name,” Don’t take his name again. I believe you know how much I hate him!”

Daniel relished Daisy’s fondness for him. He stopped, looked into her eyes, and said,” Yeah, I know! Now, be faster my princess or we’ll be trapped in the darkness.”

Trapped in the darkness!” she beamed with amusement,” It’s going to be a wonderful evening.” Smiles exchanged and the teenagers continued their journey to the castle, Daniel in the lead.

Mystery of the castle
Mystery of the castle


The wind whipped through the trees, sending a flurry of leaves spiraling into the air. Daisy paused to get an idea of the wind, her eyes watering from the dirt and debris kicked up by the gusts.

Did someone just whisper her name?’

Daisy was alarmed,” Daniel, is this you?” But there was no response because he had moved farther up the hill. She shrugged to evade any freaky assumption. It happened to be the beginning of the weird happenings that were waiting for them. After a step or two, Daisy heard another whisper. Miserable, as she had started feeling, there didn’t seem to be any sign of Daniel.

Out of nowhere, a hand plugged her mouth, causing her eyes to spread wider in shock.


Unaware of what was happening with Daisy, anxious Daniel continued his race to the top. The resistance of the wind appeared to be conveying something unusual. As the distance diminished, the castle on the hill loomed ever closer, its crumbling walls and turrets etched in sharp relief against the darkening sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance, adding an ominous note to the surroundings. The clouds grew darker and the possibility of rain increased many times within minutes or perhaps seconds.
Daniel could see the castle coming nearer. The gloomy sky and thunderous surroundings frightened him a bit and he became anxious for Daisy.

Where was Daisy?

I hope you enjoyed reading this thriller. If yes, wait for the second part of this story:)

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Monidipa Dutta.


27 Comments Add yours

  1. Star Diaries says:

    Very nice and gripping. The title reminded me of the books by Enid Blyton that I used to read as a kid. But I really like the way you have built your narrative and the choice of words that convey an aura of mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anjali says:

    I’m impressed by your excellent work! Your story had me captivated throughout. What I truly admire is your masterful storytelling and the skillful choice of words that evoke a sense of curiosity and mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow.. Loved the thrill, I am always found of suspense and thrilling stories and this story has all the required ingredients that makes it a great story.. Looking forward to read more

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh that was a surprise ending making me look forward to the next part of the story. Will await to know happens next.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh, Come ON!! How could you leave on such a high note? I am going to read the next part, you have built up the suspense so brilliantly, just my kind of fiction tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh that’s actually an edge of the seat moment. I can’t wait to know what happens next

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It did make me curious. I certainly want to know what happens to Daisy, Daniel and Sam. What do they discover in the old castle on the hill? Looking forward to the second part.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Preeti Chauhan says:

    Oh, Aditi, you have me hooked and writhing in agony to find out what happened to Daisy and who is this Sam ?? Good job !

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Samata says:

    I am a thriller fan and glad to share that you made me think now what going to happen next. The moment an author/writer made his/her readers feel the same trust me that’s the sign you succeeded as a thriller writer. What a scene and character development by you dear friend… I am mesmerized by your story telling skill… Yes I am waiting for the second part please share it soon. Love… One of your fan.. Samata

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kaveri Chhetri says:

      Nooooo… not fair Aditi… i don’t like stories that don’t end😒
      It was getting sooo interesting and it stopped… can’t wait to read the rest.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. wow, such a thrilling story what happened to Daisy? waiting for part 2. I liked the descriptive way of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Seriously you hit the notch at Balaji kinda suspense, very nice thriller Im waiting for part 2 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  12. What a fascinating read. I am a die hard thriller fan, but cant stomach paranormal or horror stories. I am so curious to know what happens next to Daisy and Daniel and who is Sam? I have an eerie feeling that Sam is dead and Daisy had something to do with it??? Will await the next part eagerly.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. memoryflies says:

    Where is Daizy? Not right ha… Waiting for the next part. You always write so well to captivate the reader.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Not only was your story riveting but it left me craving for more. The story line is thrilling and fast paced. Just the kind I would like to see turn into a movie soon. Waiting anxiously for the next part….you’ve got me hooked to your website now. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Aastha Anand says:

    Gripping, thrilling and fast paced.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Madhu Bindra says:

    This is the first story I read from you and now I am going to look for more. It sure kept me hooked. But before that, I am looking forward to the second part of the story.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Ritu Bindra says:

    That is quite a cliffhanger, Aditi. Can’t wait to read what happens next. It has been a while since I read a fiction piece from you. Love the range of content on your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Varsh says:

    Whoa, a stalking boyfriend, two adventurous friends, scary weather and an eerie setting, this was a thrilling read indeed. That’s irresponsible of Daniel to leave daisy alone, honestly. Waiting for the second part!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Shalini says:

    You have a way with words, Aditi. I love reading thrillers and this was nothing short of a thrilling ride. Way to go! I can’t wait to read what you’d write for this challenge. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I am a die hard fan of thriller and just loved the way you narrated this one! The ability to write meaningful rhyming sentences is a blessing indeed and you are a pro at it!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Pooja Jha says:

    I really liked the way you have narrated the story. I also like the way you have built your narrative. The choice of words to convey mystery. Nice writeup.


  22. Jeannine says:

    Oh c’mon! how could you leave us hanging like that in the end! We surely would love the next part of this! Will be waiting for the next part!


  23. jeetjinder says:

    I don’t like these cliffhangers, Aditi 🙂 I want to read the second half right now.


  24. mahekg says:

    The post was well written and I am eagerly waiting for Part II to know where is Daisy.


  25. Janaki says:

    Ahaaaa…can’t wait. I was climbing up the hill with those guys too. Now have to wait and catch my breath! Thanks you….lovely gripping tale.


  26. Vasumathi says:

    Oooo….am eagerly awaiting the next part. If Sam is her boyfriend, why is Daisy scared of him.


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